Fight against cynicism

I recently finished rereading North of South, a personal nonfiction account of Shiva Naipaul’s travels in East Africa during the mid-seventies. North of South is the most cynical and bitingly humorous book I have ever read. I first discovered it after returning from Africa, and although I have an inexplicable love for that vast continent and its diverse peoples, I found myself agreeing with the book’s poignant criticisms. While I could laugh at the nearly identical frustrating situations I encountered in Africa, I was also disheartened by the fact that in the 30 years since Naipaul wrote that book seemingly precious little had changed.

Now years later working in development in Guatemala, reading North of South not only reminded me of my time in Africa, but it articulated some of my current frustrations and criticisms of the country in which I am living—The near complete lack of planning and thinking of the future. The unbridled greed. The ridiculous absence of logic in decision-making. The absence of logic in general.

Yeah, I know I sound like a jerk.

And I know my broad generalizations are not fair.

I know I can’t paint all of Guatemala and all Guatemalans with the same brush. Nor do I want to. I am friends with some amazing forward-thinking, selfless, logical Guatemalans. But I am terminated my project as a result of a combination of the aforementioned frustrations (among others), and despite my desire to fight it, I feel the creep of bitterness and cynicism.

Idealism to disillusionment to cynicism. A natural progression, or perhaps more aptly put, degression.

But I was never truly idealistic, so I suppose I can never fully be disillusioned, and hopefully I’ll never be completely cynical. And I am putting up a conscious fight.