To kiss or not to kiss?

I am closing in on six months in country, and I have yet to figure out the Guatemalan greeting (perhaps I never will). There is forearm grasping, hand shaking, and/or cheek kissing depending on whether the person is a man or a woman, Indigenous or Ladino, urban or rural dweller, or a new acquaintance or a friend. But to my frustration these “guidelines” are loose (and often create contrasting combinations), and I am still at a loss to know which greeting to employ in which situation.

After becoming accustomed to the cheek kissing greeting from the Guatemalan staff during training (Peace Corps is a close family), I arrived in Tactic kissing all the women in my association. I quickly realized that I was making them very uncomfortable which in turn was making me uncomfortable upon seeing their slightly frightened reactions. I stopped and made a mental note not to kiss Indigenous women because it renders them ill at ease.

Soon after I ceased all kissing in general…or initiating it at least. Now I awkwardly wait for the other person to make the first move and simply reciprocate whatever greeting he/she extends to me. Based on the previously mentioned criteria, I try to surmise which advance will be made beforehand with my internal monologue being something to this affect, “Okay. This is a Ladino man living in the muni. Go in for the handshake, but be prepared for the kiss," or “Indigenous women from an aldea. No sudden moments. Just a simple forearm squeeze will do.”

But my assumptions have been constantly proven wrong. Indigenous women whom I have never met sometimes kiss me. Many people I have known since arriving will still only grab my forearm. I often get away with a just handshake from men. I suppose I am destined to fumble my way through the Guatemalan greeting up until I leave…or I can just start kissing everyone again.