Ma’xta b’ih niraq chiriij

No longer in the constant presence of other English speaking gringos, this past week has been a bit of an adjustment learning to completely live in another language. Granted I have been utilizing and learning more Spanish daily since arriving in Guatemala, but there were always moments everyday during training when I could express more complex thoughts and feelings in my mother tongue with other volunteers. Here, it is all Spanish, all the time, and I am constantly frustrated with my inability to perfectly articulate what I want to say.

Adding to my frustration, whenever I am in the presence of more than one woman in the organization with which I am working, they prefer to speak to each other in Poqomchi’ instead of Spanish. And as the title of this blog indicates, “I don’t understand anything.” I have had in total one four hour crash course in Poqomchi’ (which was taught in Spanish—nothing like being two languages away from completely understanding what is going on), during which the whole time on was on the verge of gagging trying to speak such a guttural language. But despite the protests of my throat, I have decided to request a tutor through the Peace Corps Mayan language program—at the least I want to understand what the women are saying when they are talking about me (because I know they are).

With my ears resonating of Spanish and Poqomchi’, my internal monologue has become more like an intense discourse given it is the only place I can “speak” English. But even during these lengthy personal conversations, I often make myself switch over to Spanish out of guilt that I am not practicing enough. (It really is a bitch being an anal perfectionist). Laughably, for further practice I attempt to translate English songs as I am listening to them, which most of the time simply ends up being a wearisome exercise given I am metaphorically challenged in Spanish.

So currently my mind is a jumbled mix of Spanish, English, and Poqomchi’ (Spanglichi’, tal vez?), and I currently lack the ability to effectively converse in any of the three (I thought I could still bank on English, but according to my parents, I am now incomprehensible in that too). Hopefully within the next two years I will learn some language (any language!), otherwise I’ll be returning to the States communicating with rudimentary grunts and hand signals. And, unfortunately, as I have learned here, not even all of those are universal.