La Salud

Our purpose here as volunteers is to make a positive and lasting impact on the communities in which we live, but above all, I think Peace Corps’ unofficial goal is just to ensure that we make it home after two years alive and relatively disease free. For this reason, heath classes are an integral part of our training. The first day in country we were issued Peace Corps medical kits (more like medical suitcases) stocked with medicine to treat any common ailment and some not so common ailments like bird flu disease. We were also each given the tome “Where There is No Doctor” chalk full of useful information like the proper places to administer shots to babies, methods of building latrines, and how to fashion a pair of crutches from a branch (if only I can find the perfect stick).

Seriously, though, I am very thankful for the wealth of PC medical resources available to us, especially given the inadequacy of health care and emergency response systems here in Guatemala (three ambulances broke down in the process of transporting a critically injured former staff member from Cobán to Guate who had been hit by car last month). There is usually less than a two-day turn around from sickness to pooing in a cup to diagnosis to receiving medicine (I really feel sorry for the PC driver whose job it is to traverse the country collecting volunteers’ stool samples). Fortunately I have been blessed with a stomach of stone and haven’t had to go through this process…yet.

On the subject of getting sick, especially diarrhea, we are told that it is not a matter of if, but when. Diarrhea is so prevalent among volunteers that an entire day of health class was devoted to the topic, aptly named, ‘D-Day’, which was kicked off with a group rendition of the diarrhea song. We learned about the clinical definition, different causes, and various treatments, with the whole session so eloquently summed up in the words of our PCMO, “It is all a matter of how much poop you get in your mouth.” After that day, all previously proper avoidance of the subject was thrown out the window. Now conversations routinely begin with talk of bowel movements (in our meeting with our Country Director that is the first thing he asked about), and there is absolutely no shame or embarrassment in having to excuse yourself from class to make a dash to the bathroom. Getting rid of the evidence, however, is a bit difficult in a country where all toilet paper must be thrown in an adjacent wastebasket and a good portion of the toilets have to be flushed by dumping water in the stool.

Other major topics of discussion in health class have been: distinguishing between the myriad of skin infections we are likely to contract, identifying brown recluse spiders and knowing what to do when bitten by one, treating burns (apparently volunteers’ engulfing themselves in flames trying to light gas stoves and ovens here is a common occurrence), dealing with depression, and of course recognizing the symptoms of the major diseases like malaria, dengue fever, hepatitis, tuberculosis, etc.

So with my extensive training, my vast knowledge of diseases, my little briefcase of drugs, and my how-to book of backcountry doctoring I am seriously considering setting up a gringa clinic in my soon-to-be-discovered site. “No, I’ve never performed surgery before, but there is a great diagram in my book.” Who needs a medical degree when there is Peace Corps survival health training.