Happy Halloween

or Christmas.

Holgazán

Mapache's two favorite sleeping positions:

It’s beginning to look a lot like…

It’s October 29th. 80 degrees in the shade. And as I write workers are putting the finishing touches on the Gallo Christmas tree in the park. Are we jumping the gun?

Horse Tricks

Money Tree

This is the guayaba tree in my yard…


…and these are guayabas (or guavas in English).


The guayaba is a tropical fruit native to Central and South America. I find that guayabas have a consistency similar to pears and the variety in my yard is a bit bitter—too much so for my taste. But Guatemalans love them, and now that my tree is in full bloom I have become a very popular person (even more so than usual).

Guayabas go for 50 centavos to 1 Quetzal a piece in the market, so I would estimate there are at least $13 growing on my tree. But the net worth of my giver of fruits is lowering daily as friends, neighbors, and acquaintances invite themselves over to take home bagfuls of guayabas.

Although in an effort to not appear rude they always come under the pretext of visiting me, I am not fooled. I have been here long enough to quickly pick up on when I am being used (which is about 83.2% of the time), but in this case I play along because I am trying to be the shining example of a friendly American and, well, I don’t really like guayabas (although Mapache is a big fan).

So in keeping with the ruse upon leaving, everyone makes a comment to the effect of, “Oh, I didn’t know you had a guayaba tree!” which I would believe only if it came from the mouth of a blind person given the tree is the first thing you see upon entering my front gate. That statement is always followed by the question, “May I have a few to take home?” Then I grant permission and all of a sudden a few changes into a few dozen and then the person leaves smiling with a canasta full of guayabas and the promise to come back to visit me soon.

Ah, the burden of having a money tree.

Inked

Why do I feel like I am doing something illegal and self-destructive when filling up my ink cartridges? Perhaps because of the “Use one time and destroy” warning on the syringes?

The Underwear Thief

Mapache has a penchant for stealing my underwear out of my bedroom and strewing out on the lawn.