Paris to Guate

Guatemala City is apparently 9001 kilometers from Paris according to this sign in the Eiffel Tower.

Guatemalan Roots

One of my kids (well, not my kid) cleared up a matter today that he seemed to have been mulling over for a while. Given that I am brown and apparently Chinese looking (I don’t see it), people here are often puzzled as to how I can be an American. Through my time spent living and traveling abroad, I’ve found this confusion surrounding my ethnicity to be widespread and universal, so I am accustomed to fielding questions on the topic.

Marvin started off with a question I’ve answered a million times: “What country were you born in?”

“The United States.”

This answer did not provide the information he was looking for so he continued. “What is your mom’s name?”

“Janet.”

Still not enough. “What is your dad’s name?”

“Stan…like the hurricane that killed all those people in Guatemala.”

“Oh. Yes. Estan.”

I could tell that Marvin was still not satisfied with the information he had received, but I didn’t know where he was headed with this line of questioning. Then he continued with, “Where are your parents?”

“They’re in the states.”

“But where were they before?”

“Before? I don’t get it. Before what?”

Finally Marvin’s brother Brian chimed in to get to the heart of the matter. “He thinks that your parents are from Tactic, and that they went mojado [illegally] to the United States and had you there, and then you came back to work in Tactic because you’re really Guatemalan. Is that true?”

Hmm. I should have just said yes.

Vinos

I wish this photo were taken in Cobán instead of Paris, but unfortunately there are no such stores in Alta Verapaz.

What does my shirt say?

If it weren’t against Peace Corps regulations to set up money making operations, I would start a one-person side business translating people’s t-shirts. For a meager 1Q fee, I would tell you what is written across your shirt in English actually means in Spanish. Not only would I pull in a little extra monthly income, I think my enterprise would have a profound affect on the wardrobe choices of many Guatemaltecos.

Shirts in English are very common here. Used clothing from the states gets packaged into huge bundles, shipped to Guatemala, and resold in the numerous “Ropa Americana” stores all over the country. (Does it make you feel good to know that your generous donation is helping to clothe many a poor Peace Corps volunteer?) And since 99% of rural Guatemalans don’t understand English (that is a rough estimate), shirts are chosen based solely on cost, size, and color without any consideration given to what it says.

So therefore you get macho ayudantes wearing shirts with slogans such as “Shall we dance? Do you even have to ask that question?” and old men sporting “World’s Best Mom” sweatshirts and teenage girls wearing shirts basically proclaiming themselves sluts. But only the English speakers find this amusing, because everyone else is just as clueless as the person wearing the should be embarrassing shirt. For just a Q I could change that.

Churrasic Park

This is by far the wittiest business name I have ever seen in Guatemala. It is a churrasco stand that the owner rolls out into the park every evening. Hence the name:

Single Use Only

I hope the doctors and nurses at the health center who made this float for the feria actually know what “single use only” means.

Strapped for time

A man in town was just put in jail for sexually assaulting his 11 and 12-year-old daughters. The police were made aware of the situation when one of the girls’ teachers made a denuncia (pressed charges) against the father. Unfortunately sexual abuse of children, spousal abuse and the like are not terribly uncommon here, but it is rather uncommon that it is actually reported to the police.

Apparently the father had been abusing the girls for more than a year. When the police asked the mother why she hadn’t made a denuncia before, she replied that she had been very busy and could never find the time. You can’t find the time to keep your husband from raping your daughters!?

According to Guatemalan law the mother is not guilty of any crime and the daughters are going to stay in her custody. Some future they have to look forward to.