Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Sencillo

(image from Prensa Libre)

Guatemala is coming out with new 200Q (~$25) notes in November. I am sure this higher bill will only exacerbate the country’s chronic deficiency of change.

As it is now, 100Q is the largest bill in Guatemala. Most tienda owners, taxi drivers, and bus ayudantes react to 100Q bills as if they were poisonous snakes. They take a step back, shake their heads, and say, “Fíjese que no hay sencillo.” (I’m sorry, there is no change.)

In the case of tiendas, if your purchase is worth the effort, the owner will run out to other shops or find someone in the street (highly unlikely) to break the bill. However, if the owner or employee is lazy or your purchase is insignificant, then sorry, you’ll have to do without that bag of refried beans. And sometimes owners, not wanting to use all of their accumulated 1s, 5s, and 10s, will say they don’t have change even though they do (once I broke a 100 on a small purchase in a store immediately after a woman was turned away because there was “no change.”), in order to place the burden of searching for change on the purchaser.

With camionetas and micros the lack of change situation can sometimes be worked to your advantage. For example, the trip between Tactic and Cobán costs 6Q. If you give the ayudante a 100Q bill and say, “Sorry. The only other bill I have is 5Q,” then most likely he’ll take the 5Q instead of having to scrounge to give you 94Q in change. You just saved yourself 13 cents! But this tactic can also backfire. I know of volunteers who have received false bills after paying with a 100. That turns into a costly ride.

These frustrating situations arise because the ATMs only dispense bills in denominations of 100. You’ve got to make change somehow, somewhere.

Fortunately, I have found the perfect solution to avoid the change shortage. Every time I make a purchase at my favorite tienda in town I pay with a 100Q bill, regardless if the total was 10Q or 60Q. The owners, Raúl and Rut, always have change, and since I am their friend I never get the fíjese que runaround. I accumulate these small bills and coins to use in situations—bus fare, taxi fare, market purchases, etc.—where exact change is either imperative or at least will save me from a big hassle.

But when the new 200Q bill comes out, it looks like making change it going to become twice as hard.

Monday, July 27, 2009

What a difference...

a month makes.

June 22nd

July 20th

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Balacera

Hardly a day goes by without the word “balacera” showing up in the newspaper here. Balaceras are shootouts. They often occur between the police and drug cartels, competing drug cartels, or, on the very rare occasion, between different divisions of the police. Oops.

One such inter-police shooting occurred just the other day in a restaurant in Cobán. Three members of the Special Division of Criminal Investigations (Deinc) skirmished with three members of the Office of Professional Responsibility (ORP). The guys from the ORP had set up a sting operation against the agents from the Deinc who were supposedly extorting a Cobanero for some $10,000. The Deinc agents claim that the supposed victim of extortion is actually the head of a lucrative car stealing business in the area and through his connections in the upper echelons of the ORP had the investigation being conducted by the Deinc stopped.

Slightly confusing? Perhaps. But it does not concern me whether the Deinc or the ORP or both are corrupt. What I find most amusing about this story is the shootout. Here is how the newspaper Nuestro Diario described it:

Elementos de la Deinc abrieron fuego en contra de los investigadores de la ORP y se produjo la balacera que culminó con la captura de los tres agentes policíacos…En el intercambio de disparos, nadie resultó herido.

(Elements of the Deinc opened fire against investigators of the ORP and produced a shootout that culminated in the capture of the three police agents…In the exchange of shots, no one was injured.)

In a shootout between six law enforcement officers in the enclosed area of a restaurant, not a single person was able to actually hit somebody with a bullet?

Wow. That is either sad or suspect. I am leaning towards sad. Sad, not as in ‘Oh gee, I wish someone would have been killed or injured,’ but sad as in, ‘Man, that is some really bad marksmanship!’ Maybe training is focused more on evasive tactics than accuracy with a firearm.

As a joke about the poor shooting skills of the police force in reference to the sniper slogan, ‘One Shot One Kill,’ a officer once told me, “En Guatemala no es así. Aquí es ‘Veinte tiros, tal vez un herido.’” (“In Guatemala it’s not like that. Here it is ‘Twenty shots, maybe one wounded.’”) After reading this story, pienso que sí, él tiene razón.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

¡Golazo!

The word golazo is supposed to be reserved for only spectacular goals in soccer, but it seems that the term is used here for any shot that finds its way into the net. Understandably so, since it is a lot more fun to say than just gol.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Extensión

My mom has informed me that people are wondering if I am back in the states yet. No I am not. Stop bothering her.

I am still in Guatemala and will be for quite a while longer. Yes, my official two-year Peace Corps service ended the past Saturday, but I have signed on until the end of the year. Overtime. Extra innings. Stupidity? Pues.

Apparently I haven’t gotten my fill of chuchos, tortillas, and the rain…No, wait, I have. I am staying to ensure my project is ready to be passed off completely to the locals. Maybe someday I’ll actually get around to writing about this project on my blog...

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Up for grabs

Emails such as this one are just one of the many reasons why I so thoroughly enjoy our Safety and Security Coordinator:

Folks: We got a UPS package here at the office with no name. Contains candy bars and other junk. If you think it’s yours, give me a call and describe contents.

Makali

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Give me 8

I heard a story about a newly arrived Peace Corps Volunteer who instead of cooking one evening decided to have Guatemalan fast food—tortillas. He went to a tortilla vendor in the park and said, “Me gustaría ocho, porfa.”

The vendor was a little surprised and asked, “¿Solamente para usted?”

“Sí. Tengo hambre.”

At that reply the woman and her companions burst into laughter. The volunteer, on the other hand, was offended assuming that the women believed because he was a gringo that he couldn’t handle eating eight tortillas.

But the PCV was unaware of the Guatemalan tortilla buying custom: Tortillas are ordered based on their monetary value and not the quantity. Therefore if you approached a vendor and said, “I would like one please,” she would give you 1 Quetzal worth of tortillas, which depending on the size of the tortillas and the going price in a given town would probably be 4-6.

So the indigenous vendors found the thought of the skinny white guy eating some 40 tortillas on his own quite hilarious. As would I.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Mucho aire

Mucho aire blew down the one stalk of corn I had growing in my yard.

I had hoped to make tortillas with the corn I planted, harvested, dried, soaked in cal, ground at a molino (I am sure I would have been laughed at for bringing in such a small amount), formed into small pancake-like shapes, and cooked on a comal set over an open flame.

But, alas, I’ll just have to pay a woman in the market a Q for a handful of tortillas whenever I have a craving for carbohydrates.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

AV Rap

I spent this past weekend in Antigua for the yearly Peace Corps 4th of July party. I must say after having planned the 200+ person bash along with the All Volunteer Conference the year before, it was much more enjoyable to just show up to the event instead of being in charge of it.

One of the staple activities at the party is the volunteer talent show. I am surprised by how many talented PCVs there are in Guatemala (myself not included in that number). Someone did a Michael Jackson tribute, there was a spoken word performance, and a fiddle/acoustic guitar duo performed a rendition of the rap song, “The Next Episode,” among other acts. But by far, the best and most original performance was that by Pan Dulce.

Pan Dulce and his Goon Squad are a group of volunteers from Alta Verapaz who have the talent of mixing Peace Corps lingo with Chapinisms to produce very entertaining raps (entertaining, that is, if you understand what they are talking about). I didn’t get this year’s performance on film, (and it would have been too risqué for the PG level of my blog) but I do have an edited copy of last year’s “Chicharron.”


Monday, July 6, 2009

Sos atrevido

When I first got Mapache, I constructed him a “home” to have a place to leave him when I was out of the house. I set his food and water inside, and made him a bed out of one of my pillows (from the guest bed).


But Mapache hated his home and would get very angry every time I put him in it.


It didn’t take long before he learned how to escape and climb back in whenever he was thirsty.


So I took the house down. Point for the puppy.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Nuevo Cachorro

I am taking care of another puppy, and it is looking like I am going to become his permanent owner. My dog, Mapache (Spanish for Raccoon), was the only puppy that wasn’t sold from the litter. The style for this breed is a cropped tail, and when Mapache had is tail cut off, he got an infection. My friend thought he was going to die, so he didn’t sell him. But Mapache pulled through and now is a rambunctious, healthy puppy.

I was mistaken in my post about the two other puppies I took care of. They are not pitbulls, they are Dogo Guatemaltecos, a breed also referred to as Guatemalan Bull Terrier. I had never heard of the Dogo Guatemalteco breed before, so I did little internet research and came across this description from the National New and Rare Breed Association (NNRBA):

The Guatemalan Bull Terrier was created and developed in the 1930's by Hector Montenegro. The exact breeds that comprise it are sketchy due to the fact that he took his secrets to the grave in 1994. The debate still goes on today of the exact breeds that were used.

Research, from speaking to long time breeders and fanciers in the Guatemalan area have revealed what the dog might have been originally composed of. It is said that it started with The Fighting Dog Of Cordoba, a double dose of Bull Terrier, Boxer, Dalmatian and Dogue De Bordeaux. These dogs were bred for the sole purpose of guard duty and defense. The Cordoba and Bordeaux gave the breed great strength, determination and courage. Boxer was added for intelligence and trainability. Dalmatian attributed a tremendous ability for endurance, and Bull Terrier added an absolutely fearless personality and tenacity. By doubling up on Bull Terrier the white coat color was locked in.

I assume the guard dog mentality must come with age, because Mapache shows no such tendencies right now. He is super playful and loves being around people. I have been taking him with me when I go the gym in the afternoons to do activities with the kids and whenever I have to run any errands. Supposedly this breed is “leery of all strangers,” and to prevent that trait, I want him to be accustomed to being around new people.

The NNRBA website goes on to say later that a Dogo Guatemalteco that “will not defend the home is considered a totally useless dog. Because of high crime and corruption in Guatemala the dog must defend the home at all costs.”

How is a dog going to defend against corruption? If that is the case, I wish I had Mapache when I worked for Nu’Kem.

Mapache is the polar opposite of his two siblings that I took care of for a couple of days. They were very timid and barely ventured away from the pillow I set up for them to sleep on. Mapache, on the other hand, loves exploring. He also loves biting and chewing on anything and everything, including my face. We are working on that.

Unfortunately Mapache also has a fondness for chasing indigenous women. Their cortes hang right at the level of his little face, and he can’t resist the temptation of chewing on them. Countless times I’ve had to pull him out from between the legs of an unsuspecting woman profusely apologizing all the while.

To try to avoid that situation, I just purchased him a collar and a chain. He absolutely hates them. In complete refusal to walk attached to a chain, he will lie down on his stomach with both his front and back legs outstretched. I have to drag him until I feel terrible about dragging a cute puppy and then I pick him up to carry him.

Having a puppy is quite a bit of work, involving a lot of pee and poo clean-up (even though he still urinates anywhere he has the urge, he has learned to go outside to poop…should that be owed to the Boxer influence?) and near constant vigilance to ensure that he is not chewing on power strip cords, furniture, and my shoes. But the chubby little guy is definitely worth the effort. I mean, just look at that face.